


There's beauty in the mess of it all

by jazzrose343



Category: Captain America (Movies), Hawkeye (Comics), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Avengers Tower, Deaf Clint Barton, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2021-02-24 15:26:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21620140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jazzrose343/pseuds/jazzrose343
Summary: Clint couldn't believe he had almost let this go.In which Clint gets worse and then better and is thankful.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Clint Barton
Comments: 6
Kudos: 66
Collections: Winterhawk Bingo





	There's beauty in the mess of it all

**Author's Note:**

> This has now been more thoroughly edited.
> 
> For the Better Together square of my Winterhawk Bingo card
> 
> For the I'm thankful for ... prompt for the Winterhawk Bingo Holiday Challenge
> 
>   
> Clint struggles with for a while in this fic and Bucky and the others are there for him but skip if it is not for you. This is based entirely on my own experiences, knowledge and research of these subjects.
> 
> I know it is different for everyone.
> 
> Thank you to all the awesome folks at he WHB Discord for you encourage ment 😊💜
> 
> This was posted from my phone so apologies if the formatting is a bit weird

"You still awake ?"

Bucky mumbled something into his chest that he couldn't quite make out and Clint snorted and stroked a hand through his hair.

A few hours earlier the Avengers had shared a massive team dinner.

They didn't really celebrate Thanksgiving.

They always had a huge feast of everyone's favourite dishes and for the last few years had hosted a fundraiser which they all attended.

After the meal, Bucky and Clint had helped with a bit of clearing up before sneaking off to their floor.

They had the just spent last few hours burning off the calories from dinner a few rounds of very enthusiastic and energetic sex.

Sacked out in bed with Bucky curled up against his chest, Clint pulled him closer and kissed the top of his head.

Bucky sighed and placed a kiss on Clint's chest.

Clint couldn't believe he had almost let this go.

Clint had needed to convince himself it wasn't a dream when Bucky had kissed him, nearly a year and a half ago, when they were watching Doctor Who and fighting over popcorn.

He had developed a crush on Bucky when he had moved into the Tower but as they became closer it had turned into something more.

He had refused to get his hopes up and spent his time being the best bro he could.

After Bucky had kissed him, they had attempted a very few awkward dates, mostly at the others insistence before skipping that all together.

They still did all the things they usually did together.

But Clint could also back Bucky up against the wall when they were in the range and kiss him until they were both panting.

When they took Lucky to the park and Bucky reached for Clint's hand when they were walking along and didn't let go.

They were explosive in bed together and things with them spanned from really fucking dirty to soft, with whispered words and constant touches.

When they had been together for 7 months, Tony had offered Clint and Bucky some of the space he had reconfigured so they could have a shared floor.

Both of them had been hesitant before Nat and Steve had both pointed out to them that the only time they slept apart was if they were on separate missions.

It wasn't always perfect but Clint loved being with Bucky and was trying his best not to fuck things up.

About three months ago, Clint had started to experience a series of nightmares about being under Loki's influence.

It came out of nowhere and he started being shitty to everyone and hiding away in the vents.

Bucky had tried to get him to talk and Clint had refused and just pushed him away.

He had told Bucky he didn't know why they were together and that maybe Bucky should move to another floor.

Bucky had grabbed some things and told Clint to come talk to him when he would tell him what the hell was going on with him.

That day, Steve had taken him off active duty and Nat had bodily dragged him to see one of the Avengers therapists.

Bucky didn't come back to their floor that night and the shock of spending the first night in months without Bucky was enough to get Clint to sort his shit out.

It was worse that having teeth pulled without anaesthesia but Clint made himself talk through what had been happening and agree to keep up some regular therapy for a while.

He approached Bucky two days later asking if they could talk.

He had stuttered his way through an explanation and Bucky had just pulled him into a fierce hug and told him that he wasn't just gonna cut out when the going got tough and that Clint could use him for more than just stitches.

They talked for hours and Clint had determined he would really fucking try to do what he needed to.

He had carried on seeing the therapist regularly and he was more open with Bucky when things weren't right.

Some days he spent a lot of time in the vents and the others had encouraged him to join them for meals and movies but hadn't pushed him when it was too much.

It had slowly got better.

In some ways it had been more difficult than the first time round.

Probably because they all knew each other better and he wasn't able to bullshit his way out of things.

A week ago he had returned to active Avengers duty.

He tried to convince Steve he was ready for weeks before he got the go ahead.

Steve had refused until he was given the green light from Clint's therapist.

Yesterday they had been sent to take down an attack that Doom had launched on the city.

He had grinned at Bucky as they competed to see who could take out the the most Doombots and felt he was the luckiest guy in the world.

"I'm really fucking thankful for you."

Clint knew Bucky would be able to hear him and Bucky turned his head propped his chin on Clint's chest.

"Back at ya doll."

"I'm sorry I nearly ruined things."

Bucky pushed himself up so he was level with Clint.

He wrapped and arm round pulling him close so their positions reversed

"We've been through this. You don't gotta apologise.

Just try and tell me what's going on.

"You didn't run those times I woke up and couldn't remember English or thought I was back in the chair, so I'm not gonna when you have trouble.

He gave Clint a gentle kiss.

"You wanna take your aids out ?"

Clint nodded and pulled out his aids,  
putting them on the bedside table.

He snuggled into Bucky and told Jarvis to dim the lights.

Bucky tapped out, "love you" on his arm and Clint was able to mutter a reply before he drifted into sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.😊


End file.
